Poem, “Jesus. Judas”

A little something I did have time for this weekend ūüôā Still playing around with it a bit, but I like doing something from time to time that’s a bit different. As I was writing it, I had a hard time finding a place to stop–in fact, I’ve changed that spot multiple times even as I’ve prepared it for posting. I think you’ll find, though, that that’s probably the point.

“Jesus. Judas”

Why are you here?
Always questioning.
With good reason.
O ye of little faith!
Cut it out. Answer the question.
You won’t believe me.
Try me.
You doubted me the first time.
No, I played a role.
We all had roles to play.
Some suffered more–
And then I offered you forgiveness. You denied it.
That wasn’t my role. Why are you here?
I’ve always been here.
Stop playing games.
I thought you liked games?
Why are you here?
It’s the end.
No one will believe you.
Some will.
We’ve had too many false prophets since you–
They too played roles.
They’ve all lost faith.
What will you do about it?
That isn’t like you.
I’ve always done nothing–you, on the other hand, did something.
You made me the martyr.
God’s will.
Your choice.
I was the real martyr.
I know.
“We all had roles to play.” What do you want from me?
I need you again.
Convince the others.
Not this time.
You can be their Christ.
I won’t.
Who will save them?
That’s your role!
Not this time.
God’s will?
No, your choice.

“Elegy Waiting”

He cannot
Sleep a peaceful sleep
Haunted by dreams
Of the sickle
And the family it reaps
While his mother presses
Him tight to her chest
Saying sweetie, it was only a dream
Shh, everything will be okay.

         Somewhere else
         A boy keeps
         Himself from similar sleep
         Counting backwards sheep
         And pinching his cheek
         His wrenching guts inside
         Mean all this will never subside.

The next day
His mother tries
To feed him
He refused
She can’t punish
Him though
Cause she loves him so
He knows
So he grins
And wins
What he seeks
From her
Taking it all
For granted
What is
Here tomorrow.

         Somewhere else
         A boy keeps
         Himself from sleep
         As it whispers
         The nightmares are all true
         In the winds it blew.

For her birthday
His mother
Words written
Oh so carefully
He gives her a card
With words written
Momma I love you
Oh so terribly.

         Somewhere else
         A boy keeps
         Himself from sleep.

Time ticks
And takes:
He now eats
On his own
To prove
He could listen.

         The nightmares are all true
         Whispers the winds it blew.

More ticking
And taking:
He now tries
To write words
More carefully
For his mother
All alone
In his room
About bright colors
And pretty flowers
In bloom
So she knows
He loved her
Oh so dearly.

         Somewhere else
         A boy keeps
         Himself from sleep
         And begins to weep
         Counting backwards sheep
         While the reaper’s sickle sweeps.

Time gives to ticking
Ticking to taking
And when all is
Taken to darkness
He sees
The boy
Somewhere else‚ÄĒ
Sees not another place
But another time
Where whining winds blow
This part is the nightmare, you know
And shuddering
Softly sings
Himself to sleep
He shouldn’t
Disturb another
Damned soul.

Then wakes as he did
As a boy
One morning in May
While his mother presses
Him tight to her chest
Saying sweetie, it was only a dream
Shh, everything will be okay.

        Still somewhere else
        A boy goes back
        To his room
        After night’s
        Long gone
        And places the prettiest
        Flower in bloom
        In his window
        Saying oh so
        Sweetly under his breath
        So only one soul sees the secret
        Momma it was only a dream
        Momma I finally ate my greens
        Momma I wrote a poem
        Momma, Momma please know
        I always, always
        Loved you so.


If we are the eyes of God,

When I meet him

Will it be as though I am

Gazing in a mirror

With the rest the world

Staring right back


I never thought

The answer would lie

Beyond a surface I

Often passed by

Doing my daily tasks


Even if it’s

Nothing literal

Or tangible.

Purely metaphorical,


If you must

Take my soul,

Leave the earthly me

In memorial.